How do I tell my 20 year old son no free rides?

2 years ago I helped my son get a car. I put it in both our names. This way we could get a good deal and he could start to establish credit. He was a no fault payee. He only needed to make partial payment each month. Could have been any amount and I would have payed the rest as long as he stayed in school. He only made 4 payments out of 15. Often he lied about sending me a money order or check. He got Ds and Fs 2 semesters in a row. I made the payments each month. Upon mutual agreement I took the car back. He stated it was not his top priority at this time. We did not speak much after this. I had tired contacting him only to not have my calls, texts, emails or letters returned. Now 5 months later he is asking me how to get $7000 to get a car/clothes/go to school. I received an email telling me about his general well being. But no apology for the car situation and telling me he does not want to talk at this time. Next I received an email telling me he is going to get a loan for car for a $1000. I had replied to both of these emails thanking him for writing and letting him know good idea to get the car. Yesterday he sent me 2 texts: %26quot;I want seven grand buy a car get some close

(clothes) any ideas%26quot; second text: %26quot;O and school%26quot; I am in complete shock. He is now 20 years old. Can someone please tell me how I should handle this? I am to the point of just %26quot;writing him off completely%26quot;
How do I tell my 20 year old son no free rides?
you're over protective and will do anything for this kid. You're probably tried to give this kid everything and now he's wondering where the rest of it is.



he's your Frankenstein, now deal with it.
How do I tell my 20 year old son no free rides?
just tell him if you want money you have to work like the rest of us. it is best to be honest and straight up about this,
It doesn't sound like he's learned much from his recent experiences. Tell him that he'll have to earn the money himself.
Tell him to get a job, tell him to save up for a downpayment then go to a lot where they let you make weekly payments.

Tell him he is a man now and it is time to stand on his own feet.

Tell him go to the thrift stores(Good will etc.) and he can get nice clothes there really cheap.

Tell him no more hand outs and you expect his spelling to imrpove next time he E-mails you.Tell him you love him and are doing this for his own good.
answer mine please



http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080809094941AAPZEC7
he was never mine, nothing to write off.
Tell him McDonalds is hiring.



Stand your ground and do not give him money or co sign for anything. He is using you. He doesnt even have the decency to talk to you like a human being.
Okay first off I am 17yrs old going to be 18 in a 2months. and if i want something or go somewhere i have to make i have money i use my own money. Tell him how you feel and ask him to get a job to at least help out with somethings.
I went through something similar with my own son when he was 19-20 it was more to do with his attitude to living by the rules in the home...so in the end it came to a head and I told him if he didn't like it then he could move out and look after himself...so he did and I didn't know where he was for 3 days..a big worry, but it was the best thing I ever did, he is now 30 yrs old ,runs his own business, has a great girl friend that is very much a part of our family...but most of all he is a pleasure to be around. You are not doing you son any favours if you give him every thing he wants..you have to be straight with him and stick to what you say..in other words..let your yes mean yes and your no mean no..he must learn to stand on his own two feet..it's our job as parents to prepare our children for th big wide world .
It's about time to close the purse tight, as far as this young man is concerned. True , kids get themselves in trouble at times, and legitimately need help, financial or otherwise, but as much as we want to do with our kids, there comes a time to draw the line. I get the impression that he has the feeling of entitlement, where he has %26quot;right%26quot; to whatever he wants. regardless of the adverse affect it may have on you. Considering the financial demands he has, and continues to put on you, the line has just been drawn.

At 20 years of age, you have no legal obligation to support him, or pay out for his transitional phases. After defaulting on vehicle payments, which you cosigned a financing agreement, without any seeming concern for it, shows an irresponsible attitude, especially with the crap explanation of not being a top priority for him at the time. On top of it all, he doesn't feel the need to apologise for the financial whale he laid on your doorstep. Then he has the gall to send you a text message with the demanding expression, %26quot;I want%26quot;.

You give into this latest demand, and it won't stop. There will be more. You'll get bled, throwing good money after bad. Time to put a stop to it now. When you do refuse, watch out for him trying to lay a guilt trip on you, or the %26quot;dire consequences%26quot; for him, if he doesn't get the money. That's the next thing.
you have to tell him that he is an adult now and that he should NOT be still relying on you for money.

if he really wants/needs that money he is going to have to a)get a job b)mooch off someone else c)think about saving up.
You caused the problem with the car yourself. You enabled him to be irresponsible. I would never cosign a loan or add my name to anything my adult children wished to purchase. He is an adult. cut him loose.
Tell him you don't have the cash, and you don't want to organise a loan and end up having to pay for it yourself.



If he doesn't like it, too bad. If he can't be responsible with your property, he's going to have to learn the hard way to be responsible with his own property.



Learn to say no to him. He's an adult now, he should accept it.